I try to do the right thing. I do. I fail misserably some times and other times I am proud and amaze myself.
Most times doing the right thing is not easy. It means going out of your way. It can cause pain and disappointment. Disappointment in others and this is the worst.
I have had a need to recently encourage someone to do the right thing for me. That I am worth it even if it is the tougher path to follow. This is exhausting for me. It causes me to indulge in my assortment of bad habits to get through the day. Why?
Mostly, since a bad day in April 2004, I try to focus on everyone else and not myself - Its hard for me to tell anyone I am disappointed in them - I just disappear - no longer available to that person. So I question, Is this the right thing?
I find it easy to do the right thing with recycling, returning peoples belongings (wallets, Social security cards, etc) because there is no real emotional connection other than an investment of time to do it. (BTW Facebook is the easiest place to find someone these days)
Hmm what do you think?
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4 comments:
Balance. It's difficult to keep giving if you ignore your own needs.
Diane, your post of March 25 is thought provoking. We are all, of course, potentialy amazing and terribly human. As any parent knows, we must often focus on the needs of others above our own. But we should respect that our ability to do so can be hampered if our soul is troubled. So, we must also nourish ourselves. Its kind of like on an airplane, you must first place the oxygen mask on yourself or you may pass out and be unable to help the children! Peace, Dan D. your friend in Columbus
Lots in this post, Diane. It made me think about how hard and important it is to be true to ourselves above all else. I geeked out huge last year for the "goal setting" new year's dinner David and I try to do each year. I wrote a statement of self. I was clear about my limits, standards, boundaries and priorities. When I think about what is important to me and who I really am, it is easier for me to ask others for what I need from them to fulfill that. It also becomes easier to say no, to walk away from relationships that put me in conflict with what is good and important for me. I kept that statement on my nightstand for all of 2009 and when I was faced with decisions, I read it and decisions were easier to make.
As Dan D. said, it is easier to care for others after you have cared for and been true to yourself.
I just typed a whole bunch more stuff then deleted it because I got rambly---you obviously got me thinking. Damn. Now I need a glass of wine, disappearing for the night maybe!!
But good thoughts and energy for you.
DLH,
I believe in you. I know you to be a good soul who is struggling with the reality of life on this planet with other folks who may have other motivations some of which are not favorable. Stay in the mode of kindness and forgive those who mistake your graciousness and goodness as signs for their own insecurity to overwhelm their sense of justice or fair play. That which you desire for yourself I am sure that you generally desire for others, whether known or unknown, high or low, whatever the labels; this is what will distinguish your balance. Recalling that there will continue to be the dharmic pairs: victory, defeat; fame, infamy; gain, loss; happiness, unhappiness, the effort is to avoid the extremes and see the middle way as a valid approach to living out your life with those who are near. Whether you are attracted, averse, or bewildered by things, situations, persons or thoughts, see it for what it is: impermanent, subject to change, and leading to other events and things, situations, persons or thoughts. There is a wisdom in not escaping but facing in your mind and heart each moment, filled with whatever circumstance arises, some in your control, others having come to fruit from earlier times in memory, but all subject to your awakened mind filled with compassion, loving kindness and of absolute importance, wisdom. No worries, see what is, know what you want to have arise, take your steps to that end, trust the Universe to do the rest. Enjoy the view, it changes by the moment.
Be well, do good work, stay in touch. Treat yourself to something you like, or simply be still and Know I AM.
Love you and those around you,
HAT
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